(Lugbara couple during their memorable Christian Wedding at St. Francis Church Makerere on Saturday 18th September 1999. A different photo appeared in the Wedding Page of The New Vision on 1st November 2000. Married traditionally after payment of 12 cows in the 1970s, the couple produced seven children between 1972 and 1986 though the 3rd one lived for only two years)
"Oku Biza" literally translated means 'the Ceremony of Catching a Woman' though not like the Karimojong (whose marriage culture involves courtship rape). Modern Lugbara are peaceful and sanctify their relationships in churches or mosques. For the non Lugbara males interested in any Chandiru, Ayikoru, Efuru, Drajiru, Tabaru, Adroru, Fetaru, Eturu, Inzikuru, Munduru, Letaru, Eyotaru, Epetiru, Maturu, Alioru, Ocokoru, Maliru, Ejuru, Ajiru, Oyaru, Asinduru and Amaguru of this world, be informed that Brideprice may be a priority in some families. Sometimes, you may actually have to pay at least a cow for each kid your Lugbara partner conceives. In the very distant past, at a time when tribal warfare characterised Lugbara Society, courtship is said to have been impossible. In those days, parents used to arrange marriages for their children. Marriage reservations could be made by the parents even when children were of tender age. When warfare subsided considerably, courtship became possible. The boy's father would transfer bridewealth to the girl's home and thereafter, the couple was customarily married. Divorce was very rare in deed. It could only occur if the woman failed to have children or she was found in possession of poisonous charms or any other substance that could be used to kill people.
During the 1960s, John Middleton wrote extensively about "The Lugbara of Uganda". In the Chapter on 'Marriage and Exogamy', Middleton wrote, "Marriage in Lugbara was marked by the transfer of bridewealth from the minimal lineage of the bridegroom to that of the bride. By the rules of exogamy that regulated the choice of a wife, a man might not marry a woman of his own clan. Nor might he marry into the major lineage of his mother, this prohibition was inherited for three generations. The range of permitted marriage was not the same as that of permitted sexual relations... The word for 'to marry' is 'je', the same word used to mean 'buy', 'exchange' or 'barter'. It shouldn't be translated as 'to buy' in this context for the simple reason that this translation refers only to the modern economic activity of purchase with money which was not traditional... There were then about seven head of cattle which represented the procreative power of the woman. The 'cattle' might in fact be goats and even money, bicycles and other goods were known to be transferred instead although this was unusual and thought improper... Arrows were also transferred. They were a form of currency for use in certain situations of which this was one. Several hundred arrows were collected from both the father's and mother's kin of the bridegroom and handed over to the bride's father who in turn distributed them among her kin. The transfer of arrows marked the establishment of the ties of affinity between the two lineages. Finally, there were gifts of beer given to the girl's mother to recompense her for the loss of her daughter, to heal her grief and also to enable her to get a substitute for a few days to help in the home..." There is so much he wrote I should not copy here for rights infringement reasons. Otherwise, you can buy the whole book and read...
Aje [Lugbara Pre-Marriage Introduction]
After negotiations between both families about the amount of Bride Wealth to be given whether in form of cash, cattle or other items, a day is set for the Introduction. Today, most Lugbara ceremonies are held in the afternoon at a location chosen by the woman's parents, usually their home. The woman's family waits for the male's side to make a ribbon cutting entry and sit on the opposite side facing them. The Master of Ceremony directs the events as scheduled. One of those events is a mock-test for the prospective Son-in-Law to choose his partner from a group of very cute and elegantly clad girls who receive gifts like money in envelopes. They could even be as many as 20 though less than 10 is cumbersome and more time saving. The boy's aunt (whom Baganda call Senga, Uncle is a Koja) gives a basketful of flowers to the selected girl. There are speeches and prayers from various individuals before food is served and the cake cut. For certain families, too much excitement by In-Laws is considered ashaming yet happiness is like alcohol for some folks; It makes them lose inhibitions and the anxiety of what people will say. Marriage for most people happens once so should be enjoyed to the maximum but at Introductions, it is preferred that people celebrate after the ring is fixed on the lady's finger and the dance floor is opened by the couple. Meetings are usually held months before the 'Aje' (Lugbara for Introduction) to ensure it is a success. Fundraising for Bride Price during these meetings can involve the American style auctioning of a valuable item. Also, those attending may be asked to pay for the seat they choose or buy food and a soda. Those dressed in dur bar (coats) may also be challenged to defend their suits. Latecomers are also charged. Some people hold Evaluation meetings after the Introduction to see how everything went and if possible avoid whatever mishaps happened. A day is also set for the final Marriage or Wedding which is usually communal though private gatherings can also be arranged which happened during the Covid-19 lockdowns...
According to Simon Drapari in his book that wonderfully demystifies the lies about Yole Clan who originated from Ethiopia, intermarriages between clan members are strictly forbidden and can bring a curse that requires cleansing especially after a child is born... A widow has a right to choose whom to marry after her husband departs from the Earth...
Richard Of Yumbe Gave Stela Beautiful Pearls (ROYGSBP) is a phrase I coined to remember the correct order of rainbow colours: Red, Orange, Yellow, Green, Skyblue, Blue, Purple. It pays tribute to two Lugbara lovers who do not believe in homosexuality which is totally devilish and not Lugbara at all; gay coupling is not marriage even if the Anglican Church of England allowed priests to bless same-sex unions...
Muslims are allowed to marry at most four women as long as they can treat each of them equally; it's next to impossible like Jacob loved Rachel more than Leah (from Genesis 29 onwards) though bridewealth is any gift the man chooses out of love. The great Madi chief named Ajai had 100 wives and some Lugbara men have more than two women...
According to one Lugbara old man, bridewealth in pre-colonial times used to be arrows, then it shifted to chicken, goats and then cows. Some modern-day Lugbara only pay millions of money as animals...
It would be very nice if the standard minimum bridewealth was a goat; at least it's affordable and around 2017 matched the 50 shekels of silver levied in the Bible (Deuteronomy 22:29) at about 14 US Dollars. Judah pledged to his daughter-in-law Tamar a goat (in Genesis 38:17) when she disguised herself as a prostitute and became the mama of his twins. Abraham's servant sent to look for Isaac's wife put a gold nose-ring weighing a beka (about 5.7 grams) on Rebekah and two gold bracelets weighing 10 shekels (115 grams) on her arms; then bowed down and worshipped the LORD...
Arabs can marry their cousins and according to John Middleton, the Lugbara used to allow it up to the 10th generation even though it was later discontinued. Mothers in Arabia can also choose wives for their sons, just like booking from childhood in a Lugbara culture called "tying the legs"...
Emmanuel Bada Dravu, the Oyavu Clan leader, disclosed during (Westnile TV's) Lugbara Ma A'bi program entitled "Mali Lugbara Ma Aje Veleri" on Friday 5th May 2023 that in Lugbara culture, the father of the groom chooses the bride from a respectable family and pays bridewealth for his son's first marriage; it includes clothes, footwear, hoes, brooms, cows (for her clan to eat as jotile, katile, ali and avuta plus ndu a'buma for 2nd time marriage) or goats (kayi). In some places, ti ago [bull] is worth ndri towi [five goats]. Today, couples find themselves in school, the market, church, workplace and discos. In this case, a letter is supposed to be written and a chicken or sheep exchanged to cleanse the dirty hands before mali takes its place. For the poor [alio 'ba] who can still afford to dig hard and sell their crops, bridewealth is accepted in installments though problems like sicknesses, accidents or death can attack the family they create. The father of the bride can also take yamari as gratitude to the groom's clan like the introduction in other cultures; it shouldn't be extravagant. Other payments include nguku soma for telling lies about a partner..
(This post is dedicated to the amazing Lugbara-ganda named Asher Bania who worked at Orient Bank Arua until March 2022 plus many other people not listed)
